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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I bump into an old mate from school, Dave. We start chatting about the good ol’ days, you know? He’s telling me about his new job at the local council. Apparently, they’re planning to revamp the park on Hall Lane. I’m like, “Finally! That place needs some love.” It’s been looking rough for ages.

Major Fire Breaks Out At Maghull Town Hall